Song: Where Are You Christmas
By: Faith Hill
Winnie The Pooh
Holds this Burning Candle in Memory of Our Precious Grandson
;
Jacob Allen Victorino Zeigler


The National Day of Remembrance for SIDS is
December 12th
Please light a candle to remember Jacob and all he's new friends on
December 12, 2004 at 7:00pm PST
Web page created, By the Proud Grandma of Jacob Allen
Grandma (Madelyn Victorino)
Jacob Allen
I Love You!
This is Jacob Allen's Little Red Balloon From Granny's Buffet found by
Grandpa and Uncle John Victorino, Just Floating around in the car.
Just Jacobs way of letting them Know he was there with them.

Balloons are not heavy at all for the first days of a little Angel life.
Jacob Allen Victorino Zeigler
6-6-2003 ~ 12-13-2003
Jacobs Little Angel for the Tree
December ~ 2003

Balloons for Jacob 12/19/2003 laid to rest
After Johnathen (Grandpa) and uncle John got home from the nursery, Uncle John my son took off to the drug store up the road that carries Balloons. John purchased 12 Red Balloons for Jacob. (12 days before Christmas & December 12th month) We wonted to let them go with the Family. Edith and Shane had all ready left for home, leaving Just Tyler Uncle John Grandpa and me (Grandma). It was around 9:00pm PST and we all went out side and we all held our hands one on top of each other with the strings between all our fingers. We let our Grandson Know "These Balloons are for you Jacob, not to carry you away but for you to play with, Love You Jacob!" Then we let the strings glide though our fingers. Straight Up over the house then we watched them go sideways straight down the road, then a hard right towards the Tahoma Cemetery. We all were amazed of the way the balloon went, we all figured they would just go up. The wind was not blowing, it was not windy at all. The next morning Uncle John had to check to see if any landed in trees or on the cemetery area. none were found they must of made it up to Jacob.

I once heard a Question: How many balloons would it take to lift Jacob, and float him around so I don't have to carry him?
Answer: None
When you weren't looking the Angles
would gently take him away to be with God in Heaven.

Halloween 2003
Halloween was Jacobs Last Holliday with us.
Grandma & Grandpa purchased Two Halloween Costumes for Jacob. One was a sleepy time Care bear Sleeper the other was a Tiger costume, that reminded me of Tiger in Winnie the Pooh.
It was a dark night not to cold, The whole family always goes with the kids. It becomes our family time

Edith, Shane, Tyler, Jacob, Grandpa, and me all went out I brought my camera just incase I was able to take a clear picture. A few were taken that night and I didn't check our camera until after Jacobs passing. This was the only one light enough for us to see. This photo and the costumes all we have from Halloween night.
Shane was the grim riper, Tyler was a Ninja warrior, and Jacob was the little Tiger.
Grandpa and Grandma just went as grandparents Edith Just went as Mommy.
We got KFC chicken to take home and had dinner with the kids before they left for home.
Jacob received some mashed potatoes and gravy from my plate. We had a wonderful time with our family that night.
Jacob had a blast he was really good all the way from house to house
He love's suckers Oh boy ! He would make little noises when mommy would give him one.
What a sickly sweet mess he would make.

 

The Tree and an Angle
Our Christmas will now and forever be with grate difficulty the lost of our baby boy will away's be there. So much we will miss so much he never got to do in this life time. We laid our grandson to rest on December 19th 2003 Just six days before Christmas day. We had to complete the task of Christmas for Tyler's sake none of us wonted Christmas it became so bad here. We even had a hard time purchasing gifts for anyone nothing was important any more. What did we really need, That became something all of us learned so very fast. Things we wonted for our son John became unneeded even by him. No one wonted anything nor needed anything.

On the 19th of December the day we laid Jacob to rest I wonted the tree purchased. Johnathen and John headed off to the Nursery late that night. We have purchase our trees every year from one of two nursery's we use. The nursery Johnathen Got to first didn't have any Blue spruce trees. They only had a floor motel decorated in their lobby. They offered it to us after knowing the important's of the time of purchase of the tree. He knew he was not able to make it to the other before they closed. It was important to us to get it up that night for Jacob. The tree had decorations already on it and they didn't charge us for them. Little red Bells that played music. Uncle John was going to take them off But I said no Jacob would of liked them they stay . We started placing Jacobs small toys on the tree. For all intent it was decorated. we turned it on and it played Christmas songs. A little at a time we all placed something on the tree every day it became one of the best decorated trees we have ever had. It was just right simple but for Jacob not for us. Even Tyler was heavily involved in placing items of Jacobs or what reminded him of his brother.

The next day Uncle John took off to the store with dad and came home straight to the bed room. Later he came out with an angel of blue he had made up in memory of Jacob. Since I collect ornaments, we couldn't place the one for Jacobs first Christmas on the tree. He never had a first Christmas, or an ornament that said baby's first Christmas would never appear on the tree for Jacob. The Angel sent us all in tears and no one had to say a word. The tree was on every night all night for Jacob until January 2, 2004. I know I slept a few nights in the front room Just to see it with all the lights in the house off. His Ornament Right in fount for every one to see the rest of the mementoes were place on it for him Teddy bears, Rabbit, little toys filled the little Blue spruce. Edith asked for a blue spruce for Jacob we couldn't have done any better.
Tyler said "this is a tree for my baby brother cause we miss him."

The Little Red Balloon
On december 19th 2003 the day we laid Jacob to rest, Uncle John made room for Jacobs Christmas tree in the car a little red balloon flew out at him, he immediately thought of Jacob, although that is where his mind was anyway. It Just reminded him Just who's balloon it was and for what day. On December 17th just before the funeral grandpa washed the car and open the hatch and out few the Balloon at him. Again Grandpa was already thinking hard about Jacob, Then his little red Balloon comes out at him.
Just a few days after the funeral went by Grandpa and uncle John went out side. Later they came into the house and handed me a Balloon 1/2 inflated about the size of a very large apple. Grandpa stated "Look what we found it floated up to me from the back seat when I opened the back hatch. It shouldn't be floating at all. Uncle John said it was floating around the car when he opened the hatch to make room for the tree. They Knew I would want it for Jacob's baby book. This little red Balloon sat on their minds, we all cried this was the last little red Balloon from Granny Buffet 12-9-2003 It still had mashed potatoes on it. It was Jacobs little red Balloon, the very one he played with and made us all laugh so very hard. I placed it on my mirror above my bed for weeks but I was afraid someone would wash it, I deflated it the rest of the way. It now lays in Jacob's baby Photo album along with the receipt for dinner that night.
The receipt has the date and time we were there. Now it's just the little things, any little memory of him becomes so very important in our lives.
The Balloon made Grandpa remember, that Jacob, never got to sit on Santa lap and he broke down. Trying to console Grandpa I reminded him that Jacob had sat on his lap many times and he was Jacob's Santa. I'm sure there will be many things over the years that will hurt every time we think of our Baby Jacob.

Below is a scanned photo of the Little Red Balloon and under Eeyore, Jacobs little inflated Balloon lays.

In Loving Memory of
Jacob Allen Victorino Zeigler
6/6/03 ~ 12/13/03
This is Jacob's Winnie the Pooh page.

Professional Photography was taken by:
Silver Sands Photography
Photographer: John White
Page 6 of 12

Jesus said, let the little Children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the Kingdom of Heaven belongs to such as these
Matthew 19:14
Jacob was a happy baby but he hated being put down though. He always had to have your attention and be up to play. He just wonted to be were everyone else was. He was just a bit spoiled about being held. He hated being laid down during 1 to 4 months old. Even for the short time to get something for him. Just after 4 months he stated to get his own personality. He had a Tiger personality going on. When you held him he would turn around and wont to face away just to see what was going on over there or any where other then who was holding him. If he could have walked then I know he would of been all over the house into everything. Grandma would prop him up in the corner of the couch with a blankets tucked around like a seat belt. Jacob thought that was the best thing, he looked like such a big boy. He could look around at everything, and play with his toys. If he got to tired from all the playing he would just stair out the window and fall a sleep. He would be all nicely tucked in already to the couch and would just fall a sleep. Grandma and Grandpa picked up a walker for him to sit up in and play. Oh Boy, the whole world changed for him. His walker had so many neat toys built right in. Rollers, beeps, mirrors, and bouncing things. Man that was the best thing, it made him important. He could see and play right in the middle of everything. but he still loved to be held you could walk by and he was ready to be picked up his little arms would reach out for you to pick him up. There was always someone there to spoil him. Tyler would play with Jacob for hours and was such a big brother. Jacob would just start jumping and his little arms would just get a going when Tyler came by him. Tyler could see how much Jacob wanted him and Tyler would tell me that Jacob loves him. Grandma Jacob loves me look he wants me to hold him, can I hold my baby brother. Tyler would lay big soft blankets down on the carpet and then would play with Jacob on the floor with all the toys. Tyler was so proud of his Baby Brother and is having a very hard time with loosing Jacob.
Oh God, why did we loose him?Sometimes it's to hard, just to complete a day with out our little man.

Edith's favorite character in Winnie the Pooh has to be "Eeyore". When the photographer John White, asked Edith, to get some favorite toys she had to bring Eeyore along. She loves Tiger, Pooh, and the rest but Eeyore has a special place in her heart. Edith has tired to stay strong for me, She had worried about me thought out Jacobs loss. Sheltering me from having to visit him before the funeral. Edith is one that draws in all her emotions and only keeps them for her self. For Edith to show emotion would show to much of herself. Being her mother there is just things she cant hide from me. But then again as her mother there is nothing I can do to fix the pain. I can only be there to hold her if she is in need. Edith has taken the loss of her son hard, with every day that passes it's not any better. She didn't wont to believe Jacob was gone, but rather believe he was at our home visiting. When she came to our home there was a discomfort that I didn't understand. Later her brother John, had reviled to me and dad, the following;
"Edith is pretending Jacob is here with us mom, and that we are watching him for her. That's why she is having a hard time coming to the house now. Mom think about it Jacob, was always here when she didn't have him. Edith was never here with out Jacob unless he was here. The front room is bare there is no little boy on the couch, in the walker, or in your arms when she comes in the house. When she comes to pick Tyler up she is hoping to see Jacob in Your arms watching TV with you. When she's alone at home she try's to think he is here with us."
All I thought was we had done something wrong. I didn't understand why it felt like she was staying away from her family.
We have talked a little about Jacob, but there is still silence and pain. We all have to do what we feel is best to get us thought the pain that will never end. For myself I feel a grate need to build this site for Jacob and have at times not understood why I could not get anyone to be a part of it with me. Trying to get someone to put there feelings on paper, for the whole world to see, just is not right for me to ask. I know I must give each there own time and let them have their own way to grieve.

Please view all of Jacobs Web pages,
They are in order just click on Next.
Then please Remember to sign Jacob's guess book,
to leave an Imprint in our hearts

This is my favorite picture of Jacob and at the same time it is the picture that hurts the most to look at. On the night before we lost Jacob, he was at our home. Jacob spent the day sitting up tucked in the corner of our chair and sitting in the new walker that Grandma had bought him. At one point when Jacob was in his walker he was looking at me (Grandpa) as if he wanted to play. I called his name, Jacob I said. Jacob. Then he would smile. I started to rock back and fourth and he smiled and copied me by rocking like I did. I did it again and he copied me again. To me this was the first time that he showed signs of understanding. He new that I was talking to him and that I was playing with him. After I laughed at what had taken place I picked him up and sat him in my lap. Jacob was clearly happy to be picked up as he was all smiles. As he sat on my lap, I would play like I was biting at his sides. He got really happy. At one point he started to hit me with both of his little fists and then I would say to him "Ah you got me Jacob" and he would giggle and smile and bounce up and down on my lap. Then we would do it all over again. On that night I spent the most one on one time with Jacob that I had ever spent with him since his birth. The reason I say that is because from the time that Jacob was born I wanted to make sure that I didn't go over board in showing him affection. I did not want Jacobs Brother to think that we were going to forget about him. So in my attempt to make sure that Tyler felt secure in his place with our family I was a little stand offish with Jacob. I thought that I would have all the time in the world to make it up to Jacob. Then He was gone. Now I will never be able to make it up to him. The last thing that I have to remember of Jacob is what he looked like in his Coffin and that I never took more time to spend with him. On the last night that Jacob played with me I can only think that the reason Jacob was so happy was because I finally took the time to play with him. I can only think that he must have been saying to me "Look grandpa here I am, why wont you play with me?" And after I finally answered him by playing with him it made him so happy. So now when I see this picture I remember him beating on me and laughing. He had that same smile that is in this picture. Then all I can think of is now that he is gone I will never be able to make it up to him. Jacob, Papa is so sorry for not being there and spending more time with you. I hope you will forgive me. I never meant to leave you out, I thought that we had allot of time to be together.
I was wrong. Jacob I love you and I will forever miss you.

To any of you that read this, all I can say is don't take one day for granted when it comes to your children and grandchildren. You wont know what day will be your last or worse yet there last.
Grandpa (Johnathen Victorino)

A Grandpa's love

" Dinner At Granny's Buffet "
It seams like every time we went out to dinner with our two grandsons Tyler always picked out Granny's. Jacob was to young the first couple of times,and he would sleep right thought Dinner. One night the whole family went to Granny's. Jacob was being fussy so I sat him up on the table and stuck his pacifier into the cheesecake mouse. He just went nuts over it and soon he would just spit out the pacifier looking for more.Not long after that, it seamed like every time we went out to dinner it had to be Granny's. It was not just for Tyler anymore. Jacob was excited about being there I guess he figured it out really fast. Grandma broke the rules and gave him mash potatoes gravy, pudding and cheese cake mouse. He would have a blast and sit right up in the big chair it didn't take long before the spoon came into place. Every other bite better be Jacobs, his little arms would get going and he would be all excited awaiting the spoon. Between the dog shows Weight pulls and just regular family weekend dinners Jacob must of went to Granny's about ten times or more. There was never a time he didn't get the attention of someone. Whether it was the waitress or just another customer having dinner. They would say what a good baby, and so happy. He was always looking around and having a good time. The Balloons were the big ticket he would have his little eyes on someone's Balloon and shortly here would come the waitress with a balloon for Jacob and Tyler. Oh boy that balloon would be all messy with what ever he was eating. Uncle John would be the first to pick him up to go wash him off. Soon he would come back all baby fresh again.
Shane was leaving for a training run for the army and we took the Family out and again we were at Granny's for the kids. As the waitress came around with the balloons Shane got one of his hair brain Ideas he ask how many Balloons would it take to float Jacob around. He went on about how you could hook the balloons on and wouldn't have to carry him, just float him around.We all laughed at him and gave him a bad time about it a long after that.
The last night we took the boys out to Granny's was December 9th 2003. As we came in to the restaurant the waitress seating us asked if Santa Was still dressed up would we like to have the kids pictures taken with him, of course we said yes. She went to check were Santa, had gone and found out he was done for the night and him and Mrs Claus were sitting down for dinner. She said she was sorry but that he would be back this weekend if you would like having their picture taken. We said that would be fine thanks anyway. We sat down to have our meal Grandpa, Uncle John, Tyler, Jacob and me, Grandma. Never knowing that was the very last dinner at Granny's Little Jacob would ever spend with us. He sat up in a big high chair with the blankets tucked in where ever he needed support and began to have his dinner. Mashed potatoes with gravy, a taste of pudding and of course his favorite cheese cake mouse. Oh Boy he was having such a good time the lady came over and gave both boys balloons like always. Jacob received a little red one and Tyler's was blue. We placed them around their wrist and Jacob began playing with his like always. He always got mashed potatoes and cheese cake all over his. This time really stuck out in our minds he was playing with the balloon and I would hold it up and look though it at him and he would open his mouth and push his whole face into the balloon just to see me. Then he would push the balloon aside to get the next bite of food. He had everyone laughing. He would make Baby noises into the balloon with his face pressed into it. Jacob was having a blast and Tyler was having a good time with his brother. Grandpa even said something about how Cheep a balloon was for a toy for him to have so much fun with. Everyone was focused on Jacob and that Little Red Balloon that night. We had made plans to bring the boys back on Saturday night right after we all go to the tree farm to pick out the family Christmas tree. Every year we purchase a live tree to be planted in our yard. The tree is only in the house for a few days and then is planted. We had planed the coming weekend 12th and 13th of december, out with the kids. It would be a perfect time to Christmas shop for the kids gifts for Mommy. Edith had to work at the Vet clinic, we always have the kids for her. We always wont them here with us more then she is willing to give them up. I have had Edith, joke with me about coming to get Tyler so she could spend time with her boy. Now with the new baby Jacob it would be double fun for us. He just fits right into our lives so sweet it was like he was always there. The weekend was coming up Edith had taken Jacob home with her. Our home was not set up with a crib for him to sleep over and be comfortable. Where and How a baby sleeps even for a nap is very important to me. A crib here at our home was on my list cause I new he would be spending more nights at Grandpa's and Grandma's house.The nights he did spend he slept with me in a big King size bed but for nap time I was worried about when he started to roll. It would be no time and he would be crawling off the bed. That weekend what we had planed for our family, never came for us. Instead of Edith bringing Jacob back to our home on Saturday morning he was with his daddy. Jacob's father Shane received some time off from the Army and Jacob was being watched by Shane and uncle Shaun, at uncle Shaun's apartment. Just after 6:00pm PST we received a call from Edith, she had just gotten home to find her son had passed away. The first words I remember her saying to me when I got there was " Mommy's shouldn't have to work!"

A few weeks after Jacob had passed, my sister Milly Gibson, gave us these two precious pictures above.
Great Aunty Milly was blessed to have had the chance to watch baby Jacob. We were out of Town and Edith had to work, Aunty Milly was there to watch over and care for our baby Jacob. I hoped My sister Milly, never thinks she was asked in hast to watch Jacob, I've always been very picky with Who cares for my children. I would have stayed home in a heart beat or taken Jacob with me. But I know he was in the best of care, the choice was grandma's to place my baby in my sisters care.
Thank you, My Sister
Milly Gibson, " I wish I would have taken more for you, I can't believe he's gone"

The Smiles & Expressions Our Baby Jacob left us will
Forever be Etched in Our Hearts! He brought us so much joy in his short life. Did he know he wasn't going to be here long with us?
I can Still clearly hear Jacobs Laughter in my Mind, he had just learned to laugh out load with a high pitch then gave soft little giggles until he had to take a breath. He looked right at us and could recognize us by our voice. Jacob would get so exited to see us, when he came over. He knew he was at Grandpa and Grandma house.
Jacob was deeply loved and he will be forever missed. There will never be a day that goes by we don't think of him and wish he was there sharing the day with us.
On this page Jacob has his Winnie the Pooh toys or clothes on.

Happy Birthday Lexus Pooler 2003
We were all at Alexis birthday party at Chucky Cheese the theme was Winnie the Pooh
Below are a few photos of Jacob that were taken that day.
A special Thanks for the photos to Jack and Adrian Pooler
Uncle John Hiding behind Jacob as Adrian try's to take a picture of him. Jack and John in back
One of the only pictures of me holding Jacob
Little Alexis Birthday party, Alexis Pooler, Grandma Grandpa Victorino Jacob, Uncle John and Mommy
Edith Laughing and we see the back of Jacob's head to her left side.
Alexis and Mommy (Adrian Pooler) Jacob and Edith behind them. Jacob has his binky in his mouth
Oh Big Brother is here, Jacob's little eyes are fixed right on Tyler
Only mommy will do now,
Jacob just wants mommy now cause he is grumpy
Edith, Little man is getting sleepy and grabs momma for the big baby hug
I Would like to thank Jack and Adrian Pooler for the special memory's of this gathering
Alexis had a grate birthday celebration and it was Jacob's second birthday party he attended.
His first was Tyler's and I forgot to take pictures.